Be Selfish.

Be selfish. This is my mantra the next 3 months. Work has hit its crescendo, my wife is in Australia for work and my health has been neglected – “Be Selfish” is how I plan to live a more fulfilled life. I may not do all of these things well but this my grounding for the foreseeable future. I’ve started to apply this thinking already in my work and personal life. And as if by magic, the days grew more fulfilling and the sun stayed out longer – or maybe that’s just daylight savings.

Being selfish does not mean being rude or negative nor indifferent. It is about responsibility and utter accountability.

I break this into 3 main sections with sub-sections for each. (God I sound like such a consultant).

Be Selfish in your:

• Health
• Relationships
• Pursuits

Be Selfish in your Health

This means both physical and mental health.

• Physical
  • Diet
  • Exercise
• Mental
  • Brain breaks

Diet can be tough as it’s a lot easier to grab some McNuggets when you’re hungry compared to making a chicken salad. It’s even tougher when you need to grocery shop for two, accounting for each other’s personal preferences and diet goals.

Exercise, stretch, set boundaries and build good habits. Until brain transplants are successful, you’re stuck with this body for a while. Take care of it. No one else will do it for you.

Exercise your mind as much (probably more if you’re a desk jockey like me) as your body. And just like your body needs a recovery day or two, give your brain a break. Switch off, watch YouTube, read a book and be with friends.

Putting your well-being first mentally and physically will domino in other areas of your life without much additional effort.

Be Selfish in your Relationships

• Friends
• Family
• Marriage

Who you spend time with directly results in where you lead your life – or where you get led by others. The adage of “You’re The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With” is completely true. Be picky with who gets your time. Cut people out of your life that you do not admire for one reason or another. It is your responsibility to own your success. Do not let others squander that for you. Here’s some Gary Vaynerchuk for some truth.

Family is somewhere I haven’t invested enough time in. It’s like Bitcoin 2012. If I would have invested years ago, I’d be a very rich man. Take time to connect and discover what makes them tick. At the very least you’ll discover why tomato sauce gives you indigestion.

Marriage. I don’t claim to have any wisdom around marriage. But what I do believe is be selfish about yours. Put your marriage before others. Act in a way that enhances it and take steps to improve it everyday. Encourage your partner in all aspects because their success is your success.

Be Selfish in your Pursuits

• Learning
• Work
• Team

Invest in improving yourself and leaning new skills. You will not magically make the NBA if you do not focus your efforts and energy into improving yourself. You are entirely in control.

In some capacity we are all individual contributors at work. I tend to overextend myself because I want to help others too much. It’s a bad habit I’m struggling to break. I’m quick to offer my time but am unable to execute on my commitments. Being selfish with my time is giving more balance by setting boundaries and ultimately making me a better team member. Recently listened to this podcast on how to say no from my boy Tim Ferriss.

As a manager you need to be selfish with your team. Your priority to ensure your team’s success. Defend their time. Shield them from drama. Allow them to execute. Get your house in order first before taking on everyone else’s problems.

Not totally sure why I wrote this. I think it was to get it out of my head so it’d stop nagging at me on my nightly dog walk. There’s probably 1000 words I could write about each point but it may just be easier to buy me a drink if you want to hear my about my musings on life.

Where do you think you can be more selfish in your life?